


Love Ain't Easy (But That's OK)

by 1FrozenRutabaga



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Chris is Supportive, Family, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Gender Identity, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Logan and Petunia are Supportive, Mike's a curious kid, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Period-Typical Homophobia, Sexuality Crisis, The Crew is Supportive, everyone is supportive!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 07:44:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19719262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1FrozenRutabaga/pseuds/1FrozenRutabaga
Summary: There's always a point in time when someone questions their sexuality, but Mike's never had the chance to really think about it before. Now in a better place, and at the park, Mike gets a bunch of weird feelings that leave him confused and scared. But that's A-OK, because Mike's got a lot of support coming his way.





	Love Ain't Easy (But That's OK)

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to get this out for Pride Month but I didn't finish Part 1 in time (But Wrath Month tho-). This takes place after WBG and before Part 3: set in June (Happy super late Pride Month fic) There aren't any spoilers, so you can read this without spoiler-caution.
> 
> Disclaimer: While I'm not a life-coach or whatever, it's totally okay to be curious about your sexuality and gender. Curious doesn't mean you know right away, and it's okay if you don't know yet. Mike doesn't know yet either, just like a lot of other people. Being curious is okay.
> 
> **!!! Warning: read the tags !!! Remember that Chris had an abusive childhood as well and that his parents misused religion to hurt him!**

_He’s cute._

Buddy barked. Mike jerked out of his daze and blinked owlishly, like he was waking up. He had been staring at a complete stranger by the water fountain, a young-looking guy wearing shorts and a t-shirt. The guy was just…sitting there on the fountain edge, sweaty from the summer heat and presumably a jog. He wasn’t doing anything at all.

Mike swallowed and looked away. That was…bizarre. He hadn’t ever seen or met the guy before.

_So why did I think that?_

Chris nudged Mike with his elbow. “Heat finally getting to you?” he asked. He was holding Buddy’s leash.

The teen looked at him, smiling as best as he could. “No.” It really was, but Mike still didn’t feel okay with wearing short-sleeves in public.

Chris wasn’t convinced, but didn’t press. His attention went back to Buddy.

Mike glanced at the stranger again. He was stretching now. The other boy’s skin was a dark tan from the sun, sweaty and glistening with the reflection of the fountain. He wasn’t light, but he wasn’t heavy either. His shirt rode up to reveal a soft, somewhat flat belly. There was a scar on his side from an appendix surgery.

Mike looked away again, his throat tight and stomach tingly.

They got back to the truck. Buddy hopped in the backseat, panting and wagging his tail. Mike climbed into his side. His hands felt slippery with sweat and his heart was beating a little faster than he would have liked.

“Need to stop at the apartment real quick,” Chris said as they drove out of the parking lot. “I’m starving.”

“Lunch is in an hour,” Mike reminded.

“Yeah, and I’ll starve in that time.”

Truth be told, Mike was pretty hungry too.

When they got back to the apartment, Buddy went and flopped right on the couch. Chris went to the kitchen, presumably to make a sandwich like usual. Mike sat down on the couch next to Buddy, quiet. Chris knew what he liked on his sandwiches.

He just couldn’t stop thinking about what happened at the park.

He knew enough to know that it wasn’t normal. It couldn’t be, because nearly everyone he had interacted with in life had chanted slurs and mocked people who liked guys. Mike knew it was different for girls, at least a little, because a lot of boys found it “hot”. Mike had never understood why it was so bad, two people who happened to be the same loving each other, but all he knew was that you got beat up and sent to camps were they electrocuted you for it. He had heard the rumors.

But Mike hadn’t ever really thought about any of that. He had been so buried under everything that he had never stopped to think about who and what he liked. Having that in the park was so...scary...

Chris looked back. He saw that the kid’s eyes were distant, his mouth in a thin line. He raised a brow. “What’s bothering you? That’s the face you get when something’s bothering you.”

Mike glanced up at him, then quickly away. Should he tell Chris? Would Chris get angry? Would Chris tell Logan and Petunia? Was it something to be that worried about? It was just thinking, right? They were just thoughts, thoughts that didn’t really mean anything. Should he be freaking out more or less? Should he be freaking out at all? Should he just try and forget about it?

“Mike.” The teen startled violently. Chris was looking at him, bored. “What is it?”

Mike picked at his sleeve. “Is…?” He stopped. His heart was pounding. “Is it okay to look?”

Chris didn’t understand. “We both have eyes but I have no clue what you’re talking about. Be specific.”

“Guys,” Mike blurted, cheeks heating.

Chris blinked, surprised. _Oh._ “Yes,” he said slowly. “Why, were you checking one out?”

Okay, nothing bad was happening. That was good. Awesome. “Maybe,” the teen squeaked out.

Chris stared for a moment. “Huh.” He then turned back to his sandwich. “Cool.”

Mike sputtered. “W-wait!” The man turned back to him. “Isn’t that…bad?”

“Just because people say it’s bad doesn’t mean it isn’t,” Chris said. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing lightly. “Look, Mike, I don’t care if you checked out a guy or not. That shit doesn’t bother me. You saw a guy and thought he was cute? Good for you. Just try and keep them in your age range.”

Mike frowned, wary.

Chris glanced back at him and noticed the expression. He sighed. “Mike, really, it’s fine. People just blow that kind of thing out of the water because they’re control freaks. I don’t know exactly what you’ve seen, but apparently enough if you’re looking like that.”

The teen squirmed a little. “I heard people could get arrested and electrocuted, and I saw people at school get beat up over rumors.”

“Of course you did.” That wasn’t a surprise. With the shit Mike had already been around, it was just another typical thing to expect from his town.

“…I got beat up for it,” Mike added softly. He had never understood why since he had never been open about those things. Sure, he never had a girlfriend, but he never had a boyfriend either. “But…”

Chris was really ready to break some barely legal teenagers in two under his bat. “People make their own assumptions to make them feel justified,” he said. “It doesn’t matter if you are or not; to them you’re whatever they say.”

That sounded…incredibly confident.

Chris scratched the back of his head. He looked uncomfortable. “Look, Mike, I’ve… I’ve been in that situation, okay?”

Mike stared. “You mean…looking at other guys?” Chris?

“Yeah. Looking _and_ kissing.”

The sky-blues widened further. Kissing? Chris had kissed a guy?

“I kissed a boy in my church when I was 14,” Chris admitted. “His name was Devin, we were both messing around like kids do, then we just… Fuck, I have no idea actually how we escalated from throwing paper airplanes at each other to making out in a pew.”

It was very rare for Chris to talk about his childhood. It was a big sore spot, a wound that never really closed. It was hard for him to talk about it, hurt to think about it.

“But you liked him?” Mike asked cautiously. He didn’t want to push for more information about something that Chris was uncomfortable with.

“Yeah. A lot.”

“What happened?”

“Just about everything that could happen when you’re in a controlling, religious environment like I was,” Chris said almost flatly. Mike, however, could tell there was a lot of bitterness. “Devin felt shameful and confessed to the pastor, who then told our parents, and we both got the fuck beaten out of us. I was locked in my room for enough time to stop crying at every move I’d make.”

Mike gaped, horrified.

“Yeah, we weren’t in a good place to be doing that stuff.” Chris sighed. “After that we were never allowed to interact. We couldn’t even be in the same room anymore. Didn’t stop us from catching a glance or two, but we were practically put on opposite sides of the country in town.”

The teen shifted. “Did you miss him?”

“Yeah. Until he started acting like a fucking prick.” Chris scowled. Devin had dropped him and any feelings they had grown between each other real fast. “He spread rumors about me. Dumb shit to try and make himself look like a victim. My parents felt they were more humiliated than I was, so dad whipped my back every day after school and mom had me repeat bible verses. If I got them wrong, she’d hit me and deprive me of food until I got her list right. No, I wasn’t allowed to reread them from my own bible and they took it.”

Mike felt sick. He didn't want to eat anymore.

“After I was deemed ‘clean enough’ again, my parents dragged me to church and forced me to say a bunch of horrible shit about myself in front of everyone because I kissed a boy.” Chris’s grip on the wheel tightened. His knuckles were white. “Devin didn’t have to do any of that because he was the ‘victim’ and I was the ‘perverted sodomite’ that ‘tempted him’.”

He shut his eyes tightly to block out the memories. Those had been some of the worst days in his life. Everyone either avoided him or did something to hurt him. Spitballs hitting the back of neck, a punch to the face every other week, his school locker vandalized daily, former friends avoiding him like the plague or screaming in his face how they could never be around a "filthy pervert", a private baptism every month to ensure that he was “clean”. His parents had actually made him feel “grateful” that they didn’t send him to a camp, but home had been its own. He still had nightmares about it sometimes.

Mike approached Chris, carefully setting a hand on the man’s bicep. Chris flinched, but nothing more. Mike took that as a good sign. He then slowly slipped under Chris’s arms and hugged him. Not too tight or loose. As much as Chris didn’t show it, he liked the contact of a hug.

Mike knew Chris was trying hard to kick how much he drank. The night that started his cut-back still came back to him sometimes, how something had triggered Chris into a state that he needed to be drunk enough to forget it. It had ended with Chris apologizing repeatedly in his drunken state in front of Mike’s door and Mike locking himself in his room and hiding under the bed for the rest of the night. Mike had come later in the afternoon when he had heard Chris moving, finding the janitor pouring all the alcohol in the sink and tossing the cans in the recycling bin. There was no alcohol in the apartment anymore, and Chris only sometimes had a glass of wine when they were at Logan’s.

This was a moment Chris would usually handle by himself with the aid of alcohol. They were finding better ways to help him deal with the mental strain and emotional toll the memories took on him, such as him seeing a therapist just like Mike was, but things weren’t nearly as great as they wanted it to look so far.

Chris just gripped Mike tightly, quivering. The kid was a comforting presence, an anchor. Mike reminded him just how much he needed to cut back – he wanted to completely quit smoking eventually – on drinking and smoking, how he needed to stop hurting himself. He hated that he had to rely on someone else for something so personal, that in his eyes he was piling his problems onto Mike, but he had to admit that it was…nice to have someone there.

The teen took a breath and focused his Ink. A Line slipped through his back and wrapped around Chris’s wrist. He wasn’t perfect at with the calming effect, but he was getting better. He could at least try and take some of the pain away.

A light warmth spread from Chris’s wrist to the rest of his body, but it was slow and traveled up his arm first. The memories distorted, and then he was thinking about something else. Better, happier things. The dread from the bad memories were still in the back of his head, they never really left, but he had enough clarity to begin calming down properly.

The quivering stopped eventually. The tension bled out of Chris’s body with deep breaths. “I’m okay,” he said quietly after a few minutes of silence. “Really.”

Mike was reluctant to let Chris go, but he withdrew his Line and slowly pulled away. Chris looked like he had been through the wringer, hazel eyes tired and his face a little pale, but he brought up a hand and gently ruffled Mike’s hair. Usually after an episode Chris needed to sit down and have some music play, so Mike was ready to help the man to the couch and grab the radio.

Instead Chris said, “Mike, listen to me.” His tone was firm. “I’m nothing like my parents or the people I grew up with. If you like guys, that’s great. Absolutely perfect. Same goes for girls, or both. As long as it’s a person in your age range, I don’t care what you both do as long as you’re both safe and happy. Okay? I’ll never do any of the shit to you that was done to me just like I’ll make sure no one else does it to you.”

Mike swallowed heavily. His eyes felt hot. “Okay,” he whispered.

A beat passed.

“Do you think you’ll ever date a guy?” Mike asked after a moment, genuinely curious. “Now that you’re away from your parents?”

Chris sighed. “I…don’t know, honestly,” he admitted. He felt almost embarrassed. “I'm still attracted to guys, don't get me wrong, but what happened after the kiss fucked me up. Like, a lot. That sent me on a sex spree with every girl I dated in school and gave me a flight response whenever I saw I guy I thought was cute. This is the first time in years I’m breaching things like this, kid, and I’m still really uncomfortable talking about it.”

The teen ducked his head. “Oh.” That was the last thing he wanted to do. It sounded so horrible to have that be hidden away. He just wanted to make Chris to be okay with it again.

“Look, maybe one day I won’t get actual flashbacks whenever I think about another man, maybe I’ll even date one after that, but I just need some time, okay? Just like you need time to figure yourself out.”

“…When did you know you liked both?”

The man shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d say…ten? Eleven? Pretty young.”

Mike frowned at that. Chris had known when he was so young, but Mike didn’t. Was there a time limit? Did you have to find out young? How did it work?

Chris noticed the kid’s expression. “You’ll figure it out,” he said, sympathetic. “Eventually.”

Yeah. Eventually.

A sigh. “You want ice cream?” Chris asked.

Mike looked at the sandwiches forgotten on the counter. “But lunch…”

“Still way away and I want something else now. You’re telling me you’re going to turn down ice cream for that?”

“…Can I get a double scoop?”

“How about we get triples to celebrate your coming-of-age moment?”

“ _Triples_? For…this?”

“Sure, why not? Better think of what you want because we have to eat those things before we get back to the house.”

“Can we get Buddy a cone?”

“Fine. Don’t start crying when he eats the whole thing out of your hand with one of your fingers.”

**Author's Note:**

> Being curious is **_A-OK_**! Be curious! Explore! Experiment! Just be safe and prepared about it!
> 
> More to come :D


End file.
